![]() ![]() He said the fact that the landlords collected rentals in forex but subsequently were not remitting their taxes and rates in the same currencies was reason enough for them to be arrested and charged for corruption. “As you might know Zacc and the police are more of one entity in fighting such corrupt elements, worse still when there is a specific law that criminalises such acts,” said Mr Makamure.Īffirmative Action Group Matabeleland Chapter president Mr Reginald Shoko took a swipe at the landlords saying such people were not only bleeding the economy but were contributing to the suffering of Zimbabweans. “What is happening is that we are working with the police in monitoring this therefore we encourage members of the public to either approach our officials or their nearest police station. Zacc spokesperson Mr John Makamure says that while the monitoring of rental charges was not their primary mandate, they were, however, working with the police to ensure the implementation of Statutory Instrument 213 of 2019 which criminalises the charging in forex without seeking such a mandate from the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.However, Zacc has reiterated the Government’s stance that the foreign currency demands were illegal. Consider yourself warned.įor now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. ![]() Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well, then you’re going to fucking love my house. ![]() Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses it’s fall, fuckers. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes-specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”Ĭarving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. ![]()
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